We are weathered by life’s changing seasons,
and there is strength and beauty when you find peace in the storm.
Have you ever felt that your people started going through a phase where they either couldn’t handle your uniqueness, put out vibes that they felt you were a nuisance, annoying, or too much maintenance?
Did you start to doubt a mutual respect you thought you had?
Have you ever felt that you were only there when needed or necessary, to be put on a shelf like a bottle of medicine, lid screwed shut?
Have you been through situations where you doubted your sanity with someone?
They would say little things under their breath, or make comments about your lifestyle, what you ate, how you dressed, where you shopped for food or clothing, how your house was decorated….. and only said those things around you…. when no one else would hear? And then they would treat mutual friends in a completely different respect?
Maybe you felt like you were the charity case, like you weren’t exactly a part of “the club”?
Have you ever had someone tell you that you were too much?
Did you ever find out that a friend tried to hurt your feelings, that they actually went out of their way to “get you back” for what they felt was a wrong that needed retribution?
Have you ever found out that a friend said harsh things about you to another?
If you have been in any or all of the situations, You my friend, are not alone! These situations are shared across towns and cities, organizations and workplaces, friend groups, and family circles. And if we’re being honest with ourselves, we’ve probably participated in one or more of the above activities. As much as we may cringe to consider it, we may have been a source of pain to another.
People are complicated organisms. Not just in the way we function, lots of mechanics, moving parts, and chemical reactions, but also in a way that may make you pause and wonder. You may wonder about them and you may start to wonder about You. Someone’s actions may have you feeling like you need to question yourself, your Identity.
Self reflection is always a good thing. Self doubt…. I don’t know. Probably the best thing to practice in a “pause”, a moment you find quiet, is to stop listening to the little voice in your head that tells you, “You’re not worthy of love. You are too much. You are not enough. You are alone.” That is the voice I sometimes refer to as the Lone Lies. When I was a child, and didn’t understand what depression was, I referred to these times of sadness and feeling alone as, The Lonelies. The Lonelies were these periods of time I listened to the voice of Lies and believed them.
Try if you can, to listen to the voice of Truth. There’s another still, small voice, whispering. That’s a song me and my sister used to listen to when we were little kids. It went:
“I have heard a still, small voice… that’s whispering,
‘I Am, I Am, I Am.’
Have you heard a still, small voice… that’s whispering,
‘I can, I can, I can…’
If you’d only believe
If you’d only believe
If you’d only believe that there is Love.”
This is a safe place for You to reach out. Sometimes reaching out to people we know and have face to face interactions with is very difficult. There’s that Lone Voice saying, “You’ll be judged. They won’t understand. You’ll make them sad too. They will leave you.” Those are the Lone Lies we hear, “You’re not worthy of love, You’re too much, You’re not enough, You’re alone.”
If you find you’re in a place where that voice is getting too loud, time to shake it off. This is a safe place here. Reach out. There’s another Voice that the light is shining on: There is Love! You are Enough! You are Loved! You are Love!
Self reflection and awareness of yourself and others is always helpful. Don’t let what’s happened to you, or how someone has treated you, be an excuse for returning “wrong for wrong.” Let the Light shine through and illuminate the darkness.
I think it’s wonderful to be aware. Awareness brings clarity; to accept that which you need to be healthy and reject that which causes harm, to yourself and or others. It’s good to be aware of what affects you. And better to realize that you determine the path you take, mindful of the influence of your choices. We are the masters of our fate, and the sum of our choices. We are weathered by life’s changing seasons, and there is strength and beauty when you find peace in the storm.
The mark of maturity is when you stop blaming others and take accountability for your life. Strength isn’t in the walls we put up, it’s the Love we have in our hearts. Who is stronger, someone who closes themselves off to another human being that is hurting or seeking Love? Or is it someone who opens themselves up and takes a chance, though it may be risky, and they may get hurt? There is strength in vulnerability. But we should always protect ourselves from darkness, from toxic actions that may arise in ourselves or others, that may drain our Light. “Above all else, guard your hearts for it is the wellspring of life.” -Proverbs
Fear can be a powerful influence. Sometimes people put up these walls they hide behind, protecting their vulnerability, or they lash out, throwing grenades of hurtfulness from their fortress. It comes from a shared source we all have: Pain.
And most of us fear pain. This is not the physical pain we speak of, although it can manifest in very physical symptoms. What we fear the most at times, is the pain that strikes much deeper, pain in our Deep Hearts.
There’s all kinds of reasons people do and say things, including one’s self. Sometimes we let fear and insecurity cloud our judgment and thinking. We start imagining all kinds of things. It might help to remember, no one is perfect. We all have pain. We might let that pain lead us down a hurtful path, to ourself and others.
But, there is more than pain. There is beauty. There is love. There is You, beautiful soul. 💛
Be the friend you would love to have. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be the love you want to see in the Universe. Be You.